A lot of people seem pretty curious with what Tinder is and how it works, but rarely enough to actually download it for themselves. But the moment they hear someone at the table has the app, they get all excited and ask to go through a few couple swipes with some kind of high in their eyes and a twitch in their fingers, swiping without consequence. So for those who don’t have that someone at the table, let me break it down for you.
You get 6 photo slots, a short bio, and you can connect your Instagram and Spotify account if you’d like to. You can set your preferred gender, distance and age range, then you get a line up of “potential partners” that you can either *right-swipe* (smash) or *left-swipe *(pass).
If you and a person both right-swiped each other, you “match” and only then will you get to send each other messages. Otherwise, you both just continue living separate lives parted by the harsh emptiness of online dating.
First off, the photos. Let’s get real, we’re all here for the gameplay of swiping and judging people’s photos.
If someone ONLY has selfies or just face shots or only group photos, that seems like bad news. If they have multiple photos of themselves with dogs, they’re probably a fuccboi, but even then, I’d still immediately right-swipe. In the great words of my tattoo artist Olivia Lim, “it’s okay to admit we’d be whores if it means we get to hang out with puppies”.
Personally, I prefer witty profiles over an actual bulletpoint description. Cheesy pickup lines are great, or at least something a bit more than “eat, gym, rave, sleep”. These are some that 110% got me to right-swipe.
And my personal favourite:
Also, in case it matters to anyone, I find that this is the app with the most “fleeting” connections. I think travellers use this a lot to meet people when they’re in a new city, and I realized that there are more foreigners on Tinder than there are in any of the other apps I’ve tried.
Tinder has a reputation of being nothing more than a hookup app, and I will not deny that that’s a totally fair assumption.
A conversation with a match could really go any which way. Here are a few examples from my recent experiences.
1. The even cheesier pickup line. Let’s get real, my punchline was so much better than his.
2. The kinda-nice-but-they-might-be-a-pothead. Nothing wrong with that, but this dude has asked me to get high with him multiple times. I mean, can we at least go for a movie first?! Though I must say, A-plus for a compliment on my brows though! He knows the way to my heart!
3. The I’m-just-using-this-as-a-platform-to-share-my-other-things. I feel like this is the most annoying type of conversation to have, especially when they so obviously don’t really care about you as a person, you’re just an additional number in a view count. Plus we can’t copy links from bios, so I’m not gonna go out of my way to type out a link for anyone!
4. The person who initiates the conversation but never replies. Like omg, why even message me, OR EVEN RIGHT-SWIPE ME, if this is the most that this convo is gonna go. I guess you could argue that I didn’t actively pursue it either, but hello? Do you not see that smiley face?!
5. The obvious lead up to a hookup. No subtlety at all. Probably coming from a fuccboi, but nothing wrong with that if that’s your type. I actually don’t mind this type of messages too much, cause at least I know what the person is here for right off the bat.
6. The dirty talker. 110% flattered that he said I have a princess face, that we actually went out after this. (In case you were actually worried, this was a joke from a friend and not just some random stranger).
7. The actual decent conversation. I’m not gonna share screenshots of this, just because I find those are a bit more personal than all these weird ones, but yeah(!), there are actual some decent people out there(!) that you can actually have decent conversations with(!) without ending up in a weird proposition for a quick hookup(!).
I found that it really isn’t a “quick hookup app” unless you want it to be. I’ve met up IRL with a couple of people from Tinder, and most of it has been pretty positive. People actually look like their photos, they actually talk like how they text, and they’re generally pretty nice based on my experience.
I’d recommend it if you just want the potential to meet and talk to /a lot/ of people, but only those you’ve actually selected and not just any random Tom, Dick, and Harry. Definitely not any random dicks please.
Plus if you’re not really into mobile games, but you take a long time on the toilet and you just want something other than Instagram or Twitter, Tinder’s great for that too.