#24. I am not in a good place.


Photo on 13-7-17 at 12.47 PM #2

Well, I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily in a bad place. I’m just not in a good one.

I’ve been back from my #whysoseoulless trip for almost a full week now, and I promised myself that when I got back, I’d be a much more productive individual. Four days in, and all of that has gone to shit.

Things I said would change when I got back:

  • Save money
  • Eat healthier
  • Get back to a regular gym schedule
  • Stop taking cabs
  • Wake up earlier on weekdays and not sleep through alarms
  • Stop relying on coffee
  • Put in more effort at work

So far, I have broken EVERYTHING. I AM A SHAM.

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As if right on cue, Kiwi commented on my recent Instagram post, keeping me on track. I AM ASHAMED BUT ALSO MOTIVATED THAT SOMEONE CARES.

When I’m lying in bed at night, I think of all the things I could change and all the different ways I could work towards changing them. Then I fall asleep, and it’s like everything immediately resets when I wake up in the morning.

I really want to get better, I do. I just, I don’t know, man. I’ve just been really lacking the motivation to do so. It’s like I’m stuck in some sort of purgatory. I’m not in heaven, I’m not in hell. I’m just here chilling and being reminded of all my mistakes.

I’m serious. I need to get better. I’m legit serious this time. I am gonna get better. Starting right now.

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In a much lighter note, I am currently processing the photos I took from my Korea trip, and those will hopefully be up here on my blog soon! I also tried to vlog during my trip, and I am terrified of the editing process, but hopefully, I’ll have those up within a month too.

Have a great week ahead, my BBs! 💕


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